Friday, May 27, 2011

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Born Again 3: I'm Just an Emotional Wreck!

Previous:  Born Again 2:  Assurance and the Quest for Inner Peace

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I mentioned at the beginning of my last post that I was nervous about how Sharon would reply to my previous e-mail, but perhaps not as much as might have been.  In truth, I had hedged my bets a little.  Frankly, I didn't know exactly where to place Sharon.  Was she a bona fide believer?  Did she think she was?  Not wanting to assume too much, I was walking carefully while trying to move the discussion gently toward the core of the issue.

I needn't have worried.  While I was watching my steps, Sharon was more than ready to move this discussion to the next level:
Thank you very much for your reply. I have been reading it over and over since I arrived at work this morning. I appreciate you taking the time to write something that is indeed moving and encouraging. I have caught this nasty cold over the weekend and my eyes are burning right now and look bloodshot red. It serves as great camouflage to the real tears that keep coming because I'm just an emotional wreck!

Anyway, it's amazing how ONE SENTENCE can answer a life long question. You said in your reply:
“Sharon, I have come to understand over the years that what we all seek is assurance of our salvation and our relationship to God. That assurance comes as we follow Him. If we're not following Him closely, then we shouldn't feel assured, because our insecurity alerts us to the danger of not following Him.”
I have always enjoyed writing in my journals ever since I learned how to write ... in English, I mean :). It's a great escape. When there's no pillow to yell in to or a door to slam, I at least know that I have my journals. In all that I have written in the past, and in the present, there is always an underlying message and it is more apparent now that I'm older. I'm always questioning why I am so "obsessed with death and dying". Yes there was a time in my life that I would have rather been dead than alive, but I don’t feel that way anymore. Actually, my daughter “keeps me alive”. I’d really like to see her graduate from High School, at least :) . I try to embrace my life daily and enjoy it as much as I can because deep down inside, I feel that I’m going to die soon, and that scares me. I think I know now why I feel very scared of dying: I have not been a true follower of God; that I have never really made continued effort to seek. That kind of makes me sad and encouraged at the same time. Sad because it is the truth and encouraged because at least I know now what I need to do.

Thanks for your words of wisdom. At least now I know that I’m more welcoming of it. I just remember when I was younger, I pushed away anyone who tried to be a witness to me. Not ready then, I guess. I’m happy that at least I got to live long enough and am given the chance to understand it better now.

I can talk forever but I will end it here. Like you, work gets in the way of more important things. :) I’ll talk to you again soon. For now, keep safe.
Wow.  Could it be ...?  By this point I was getting pretty emotional myself.

Next:  Born Again 4:  He Rewards Those who Earnestly Seek Him

3 comments:

  1. Let me tell you something about emotions, Emotions are something that God gave us for us to control how we feel. He also gave us the power to change our emotions and think about things differently than in the past. I have been a christian for many a year and have been given emotional situations in my life as tests to see how I handle them. I have to admit that I think and feel much differently about life now than I did 20 or more years ago and I think that I have matured a great deal and how I feel about life and situations and circumstances have changed as well as my emotions and I have become a stronger person and so have my emotions. I think emotions are connected to our pleasure centers in our brain and God gives us these things so that we may be good stewards and take care of our emotions as well as taking care of our bodies. God gives us feelings to gauge how close or how far we may be to or from him. I think God understands our feelings, our motivations, and our character more than we do. We need to sometimes give our feelings to God and leave them there. He knows more about somethings than we do. That is what works for me. I hope this helped.

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  2. This is an interesting way to start a conversation. I perused the article and was touched as well.

    For me I believe that emotions do play a big part in our lives if we allow them to. Paul said in Galatians 5 we are definitely battling with our flesh for survival spiritually, even the Galatians had followed the dictates of their emotions and had to be reminded they were not subject to those but to the Spirit.

    I liked Teresa'a comment about how God gave us emotions, I think this is 100% true. Without emotions we would all be very boring people, and this planet would be a boring place, we would probably still survive but not to extent where pleasure or pain could enter into our world. Emotions are truly the spice of life.

    If we could as Paul writes, control the desires of the Flesh and then present them to God Romans 12:1-2, we will be worshiping God rather than ourselves or our situation. I think the first step toward maturity is recognizing we have good and bad emotions and then bringing them to the place of prayer where we can allow God to sort them out rather than us.

    Thanks for the stimulating thought.

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  3. Conviction... Confession... That is what the Holy spirit does. Draws us in, & causes us to come back Home!

    We all have fallen and make mistakes DAILY. The holy spirit convict us DAILY. All we have to do is follow that conviction. Try our best. to be the best we can, and when we fall Grace abounds again!

    That is why I love the Old Testament so much men like David made mistakes, was convicted, confessed & tried NOT to repeat the same mistake again. However... seems Life Happened .......and he was a Human, and would Fall in another area..... Then again, conviction.... confession, and back to trying the best he could.

    For Us we now have Grace & The Holy spirit we do have more POWER to live ! acts 1:8

    After all David was "A Man After Gods Own Heart!" A Man Like you & like ... Me!

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