Navigate: Born Again: The Complete Works
I mentioned at the beginning of my last post that I was nervous about how Sharon would reply to my previous e-mail, but perhaps not as much as might have been. In truth, I had hedged my bets a little. Frankly, I didn't know exactly where to place Sharon. Was she a bona fide believer? Did she think she was? Not wanting to assume too much, I was walking carefully while trying to move the discussion gently toward the core of the issue.
I needn't have worried. While I was watching my steps, Sharon was more than ready to move this discussion to the next level:
Thank you very much for your reply. I have been reading it over and over since I arrived at work this morning. I appreciate you taking the time to write something that is indeed moving and encouraging. I have caught this nasty cold over the weekend and my eyes are burning right now and look bloodshot red. It serves as great camouflage to the real tears that keep coming because I'm just an emotional wreck!Wow. Could it be ...? By this point I was getting pretty emotional myself.
Anyway, it's amazing how ONE SENTENCE can answer a life long question. You said in your reply:
“Sharon, I have come to understand over the years that what we all seek is assurance of our salvation and our relationship to God. That assurance comes as we follow Him. If we're not following Him closely, then we shouldn't feel assured, because our insecurity alerts us to the danger of not following Him.”I have always enjoyed writing in my journals ever since I learned how to write ... in English, I mean :). It's a great escape. When there's no pillow to yell in to or a door to slam, I at least know that I have my journals. In all that I have written in the past, and in the present, there is always an underlying message and it is more apparent now that I'm older. I'm always questioning why I am so "obsessed with death and dying". Yes there was a time in my life that I would have rather been dead than alive, but I don’t feel that way anymore. Actually, my daughter “keeps me alive”. I’d really like to see her graduate from High School, at least :) . I try to embrace my life daily and enjoy it as much as I can because deep down inside, I feel that I’m going to die soon, and that scares me. I think I know now why I feel very scared of dying: I have not been a true follower of God; that I have never really made continued effort to seek. That kind of makes me sad and encouraged at the same time. Sad because it is the truth and encouraged because at least I know now what I need to do.
Thanks for your words of wisdom. At least now I know that I’m more welcoming of it. I just remember when I was younger, I pushed away anyone who tried to be a witness to me. Not ready then, I guess. I’m happy that at least I got to live long enough and am given the chance to understand it better now.
I can talk forever but I will end it here. Like you, work gets in the way of more important things. :) I’ll talk to you again soon. For now, keep safe.
Next: Born Again 4: He Rewards Those who Earnestly Seek Him