I'm going to mostly leave aside Time's predictably snarky treatment of a serious and important biblical debate, except to say that real Calvinists I know don't describe God as an "austerly demanding" micromanager or humanity as "puny". These are mere caricatures and straw men set up by people who don't really want to have a discussion. An evenhanded treatment of the question is probably too much to ask for from Time.
Anyway, when I was growing up, the only "new" Calvinism I knew about was something truly revolutionary:
Click the image for the complete cartoon, courtesy of The Blog from the Core.